Prom Spot - Parents & Prom: 5 Prom Date Dilemmas Solved

Your daughter finally got asked to prom, and she's ecstatic -- shouldn't you be too? That depends: Nothing causes anxiety in a parent more than a less-than-perfect prom date. But you can't exactly tell your teen she can't go just because you don't like him. So what can you do? Check out our tips for these five prom date duds.

Date Dud #1: The Rebel
You know the type -- heck, you probably even dated one when you were in high school. He has a lack of respect for rules and boundaries, a brazen attitude, and couldn't care less who he offends. Unfortunately, his adventurous side is alluring to your daughter.
The Solution: Look beneath his appearance. He may be clad in tattoos, piercings, and leather, but that doesn't make him a troublemaker. Unless you heard firsthand of his problems, try to get past his appearance and reputation. Invite him over for a laid-back activity and dig beneath the surface without being too parental. If he turns out to be rough around the edges, set strict boundaries for your daughter and make them go to prom with her friends, not his. If he's away from his group, he'll have less cause to act out.

Date Dud #2: The Loner
Anxious, paranoid, and a bit of an outsider, this reclusive type stands out from the crowd for all the wrong reasons. His antisocial tendencies make him appear withdrawn and can drag others down to his depressing level. Problem is, your daughter digs his deep, emotional side.
The Solution: You can breathe a sigh of relief if your daughter got him to go to the biggest school function of the year -- he's not quite the recluse he seems to be. Chances are that this guy is insecure and emotional deep down, so appeal to his sensitive side to really get a feel for him. Try hosting a few pre-prom get-togethers with your daughter's friends and dates. The more comfortable and secure he feels, the more he'll warm up to your daughter and the idea of prom.

Date Dud #3: The Older Guy
He's the cool guy everyone idolizes, but there's just one problem: He's in college. Dating an older guy may make your daughter feel more mature, but she might not be ready to deal with a more experienced guy.
The Solution: Since this guy is probably away at school, you might not have a chance to get to know him all that well. Ask your daughter about him in a non-threatening way. Remember key details and follow up; for example, if he plays a sport, ask her how the big game went. Based on her responses, you'll get a better gauge of his character. Stipulate that she stick with her friends rather than his older crew post-prom.

Date Dud #4: The Player
Every girl in school has eyes for this guy -- and he knows it. Players are often arrogant, entitled, and jump from girlfriend to girlfriend, which could leave your daughter brokenhearted.
The Solution: Players think that they're the kings of the world. Voice your concerns with your daughter, who might be a little blinded by his charm. Tell him from the beginning that you're on to his game and won't stand for it. Throw a small get-together and keep a close eye on how he treats her. If he's shady, make your case known, but remember that she'll be chaperoned the whole night.

Date Dud #5: The Party Guy
If there's a social event, this guy's at it. He may be the life of the party, but his drinking makes him dangerous. We all want to believe our teens don't drink, but it's a reality in high school. Even though your daughter may think he's popular and wants to hang with the in crowd, the bottom line is that drinking is dangerous and illegal.
The Solution: Drugs and alcohol are never acceptable. When your child's safety is of concern, you need to be the parent and put your foot down. If you trust her enough to go to prom with him, make sure she's somewhere safe post-prom, sans drinking and drugs. Offer to host a party or make her attend a school-sponsored event. Try making a no-drinking pact with some sort of reward for good behavior. Remember: You are the parent; you make the rules.

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--Brianne DiSylvester

Credit: Veer