Party Spot - Bat Mitzvah: Getting Started

Your Bat Mitzvah's pretty serious stuff -- after all, turning the big one-three marks your transition to being an adult (at least in the eyes of traditional rabbinic teachings -- your parents might have something else to say about it!). As the handbook of Manhattan's Stephen Wise Free Synagogue puts it, "While we know that a 13-year-old is not quite an adult, we use this ceremony to commemorate a new stage in a child's development. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony recognizes this shift in the role of the child and represents a major life cycle event in your child�s journey toward becoming a Jewish adult." Quite a mouthful!

But here's the thing: Yes, your Bat Mitzvah is all about friends, family, and spirituality. But it's also about planning your biggest birthday party yet (maybe ever)! Where to get started? Here, of course!

PLANNING WITH A PRO Are you and your parents freaking out? Consider bringing in a professional event planner to help you get things done, on time and with style. "The good news is that a party planner does all the worrying for you!" says Claudia Warner of Gourmet Advisory Services. "It's like having a general contractor or decorator. We take your to-do list and get it done." A planner can help you with the fun stuff (like finding the resources to actually create all your cool ideas, whether it's your name in lights or the perfect candy favor) and all the boring stuff (like hiring vendors -- yawn).

THE THEME'S THE THING You want the most fabulous party ever. Your parents want the most fabulous party ever. Unfortunately, your ideas of what's "fabulous" aren't exactly the same. Yes, this day may be all about you, but let's face it -- unless you're paying for it, you're going to have to learn the fine art of compromise. It's actually another area where an event planner can come in handy -- it doesn't hurt to have a neutral person who can listen to everyone's ideas and help you sort them out.

TACKLING THE GUEST LIST You (and your parents) are going to want to invite all of your friends, relatives, and then some. First, figure out your guest wishlist -- everyone you could possibly want -- and then start trimming. You want to get it to a size that fits your budget -- and your venue. You don't want to run out of food, chairs, or space! If you really want to add a couple more guests when it's getting down to the wire, don't sweat it too much. "Look at the big picture," says Warner, "If, in the scheme of things, inviting ten more people won't break the bank, then do what makes you happy."

FIND A PHOTOGRAPHER Another big to-do? Booking a photographer. After all, you're going to want to remember it all. If possible, start looking at least a year in advance. "It's important to meet as many photographers as possible so you can compare styles and personalities," says Chris Herder of LotusPhotographers. "You should also ask the venue you've chosen for recommendations." Once you've got a list of candidates, check out their websites to preview their work. See something you like? Make a time when you and your parents can meet with the photographer in person. Don't forget -- personality counts! "Remember the more comfortable you are with who you choose, the more relaxed you will be the day of the event," Herder says.

GET PARTYING You've got the place, the people, the food, the favors�. Don't forget the most important ingredient -- the music! "The key to a great DJ is someone who can keep the party hopping and flowing, be a great entertainer, and anticipate what to do before the interest level wanes," says Kevin S. Kiernan of All About Parties Inc. "A good DJ can make magic happen." Whether you're having a band or a DJ, spend some time beforehand thinking about your playlist -- the songs you want to hear and the songs you don't. And don't forget about games, prizes, and more. If you're really going to go all out, then by all means, go all out!

-- Holly Reich
Resources: Claudia Warner, Gourmet Advisory Services (gourmetadvisory.com); Chris Herder, LotusPhotographers (LotusPhotographers.com); Kevin S. Kiernan, All About Parties (allaboutparties-ny.com)